La violencia contra los hombres

El contenido de esta columna de opinión es de exclusiva responsabilidad de su autor, y no refleja necesariamente la línea editorial ni postura de El Regionalista.

Soda Stereo – Ella Usó Mi Cabeza Como un Revólver (Official Video)

Marcel Albano

Estaba revisando los apuntes y resultados de un focus group que venía trabajando hace un tiempo sobre el tema en cuestión, cuando un WhatsApp de mi amigo Tyler Durden, entró a mi celular con las noticias del caso de Jhonny Deep y Amber Heard. “Creo que es hora de que escribas”, indicó. Esta columna pretende aportar constructivamente al debate, más allá de las discusiones públicas en torno al caso. Las experiencias compartidas aquí no son voces “contra las mujeres». Más bien, hace referencia a la mujer con  problemas internos, que se expresa con violencia física, verbal y psicológica. A través de conductas y hábitos tóxicos, no solo daña a su pareja y a sí misma puesto que también perjudica el desarrollo integral  de sus hijas e hijos.

“Fui criado por una mamá preocupada, siempre presente y dispuesta  a acogerme (…) creí que todas las mujeres podrían ser así. Logré safarme de la tóxica”, (conductor de Santiago, 32 años).

La línea central de esta columna es comprender que NO todos los hombres son “violentos, machistas, heteronormados y patriarcales”. La consecuencia es que se crean estereotipos dañinos para la convivencia constructiva y orgánica entre hombres y mujeres. Lo anterior, acarrea conflictos al interior de los casos de violencia de la mujer al hombre, puesto que tal argumento, usado como un comodín, no contribuye a observar los diversos tipos de abusos que no se visualizan con la noción de género dominante. El caso de Jhonny Deep, permite mostrar al público, que la mujer también puede llegar a lugares oscuros en torno a la violencia. Y rompe el mito normalizado de que el hombre por el solo hecho de serlo, es dañino y peligroso: «el hombre es bueno por naturaleza, es la sociedad la que lo corrompe«, decía Jean Jaques Rousseau en el siglo XVIII.

Aunque las estadísticas a nivel mundial revelan la cruda realidad, donde un alto porcentaje de congéneres es violento física y psicológicamente; por otra parte, la discusión no viene a desconocer esta verdad ni a ponerla en tela de juicio. Por el contrario, revela que los procesos de empoderamiento femenino necesarios requieren mucho más que consignas doctrinales o panfletos. Las estadísticas no son fiables porque los hombres agredidos, no efectúan la denuncia correspondiente, debido a la vergüenza y falta de empatía de las policías o servicios públicos, lo que pone en duda la realidad de estos nuevos fenómenos sociales. Es el mismo fenómeno de shock mental que afecta a las mujeres en mucho mayor magnitud, pero ¿quién puede creer que un hombre se deja golpear?

“Fui con mis hijas a la marcha del 8 de mayo del pasado 2020 con toda la esperanza de concientizar el cambio social que traía la energía del estallido social, sin embargo, me gritaron de todo ‘¡que se vayan los machitos!, ¡fuera los violadores heteronormados y patriarcales!’. Conminaban a mis hijas, cerveza en mano, que me soltaran del brazo y fueran libres de mí. Siempre quise ser padre y no me considero machista, pero ahí estaban arriba de la pelota dando un espectáculo que la prensa no mostró”(profesor serenense, 35 años)

Según la Cepal: “se entiende por violencia de género el ejercicio de la violencia que refleja la asimetría existente en las relaciones de poder entre varones y mujeres, y que perpetúa la subordinación y desvalorización de lo femenino frente a lo masculino. Esta se caracteriza por responder al patriarcado como sistema simbólico que determina un conjunto de prácticas cotidianas concretas, que niegan los derechos de las mujeres y reproducen el desequilibrio y la inequidad existentes entre los sexos”.[1] Efectivamente, no todos los hombres tenemos estas malas prácticas con las mujeres, y este es uno de los principales problemas a la hora de abordar la violencia de la mujer hacia el hombre, porque radica en la percepción equivocada de que la condición de supremacía física es la variable determinante en el ejercicio de la relación de poder y el control del otro.

Atravesamos un cambio en el contenido simbólico, que se expresa como una energía social que viaja desde una reacción necesaria frente al machismo hacia recurrentes fenómenos sociales de misandria; esto es, una expresión cultural de odio o aversión hacia los varones. También, hace referencia a la tendencia psicológica (y especialmente de tipo cognitivo) consistente en el desprecio al varón como sexo, “y a todo lo considerado como masculino”(Kaplan, 2011).Es fácil encontrar este tipo de mensajes en las redes sociales donde frases revestidas como reivindicación femenina, que apelan a contenido motivacional, utilizan la categoría de hombre para reforzar estereotipos sobre todos los hombres, en general. Son mensajes que educan y (de)forman contenido.

“Mis amigos comenzaron a desconocerme y guardé silencio por nuestros hijos (…) se supone que la mamá es sagrada pues, ¿cómo les iba a decir a mis hijos que la mamá es la violenta? pero hay un punto en que los niños dejan de serlo y pueden distinguir las situaciones. Yo entiendo mejor que nadie la violencia hacia las mujeres” A mi no me hace sentido este discurso de “violencia de género” … ¿Qué es eso?, ¿desde cuando la violencia es exclusiva de los hombres?” (emprendedor porteño, 46 años)

[1] https://repositorio.cepal.org/bitstream/handle/11362/5855/1/S9600674_es.pdf


¿Por qué  el hombre no denuncia y se ahoga en el silencio?

Según las entrevistas, el primer problema pasa por la falta de espacios para hablar sobre el tema. Los amigos y familiares, no saben cómo reaccionar y apelan al humor negro, la burla, el cahuín y a la falta de seriedad: no somos hombres porque la mujer violenta termina creando situaciones donde se impone su critero – o falta de el mejor dicho – de un problema donde hijas e hijos con el transcurso de los episodios violentos, toman conocimiento, uso de razón y donde las categorías con que se habla sobre la violencia, no incluye a los hombres como individuos en el mismo plano. Las estadísticas también pueden leerse de forma inversa, reestructurar sus metodologías de análisis, de recolección de datos y mejorar la perspectiva de la violencia entre las personas.

Segundo, los medios de comunicación refuerzan el contexto de que la violencia entre las personas es exclusiva al género masculino. “Todos estos avances no se condicen con una legislación que asegure y promueva una vida libre de violencias para las mujeres ni para las diversidades sexo-genéricas de nuestro país”, así destaca un reportaje realizado por Ciper que da cuenta de lo anterior. Una amiga psicóloga de La Serena, percibe que la comprensión de la igualdad de género vigente, cayó bajo una “caricaturización”. Esta caricatura, es un espacio que utilizan mujeres y madres disfuncionales para manipular los entornos, y así ocultar a la sociedad que son victimarias y no víctimas.

“Juegan con nuestros hijos. No todos somos padres ausentes y cuando algunas, porque no son las mayoría, saca el hecho de ser hombre o heterosexual como un antecedente, lamentablemente la institucionalidad formal e informal, nos reduce a ser simples provedores, funcionales por plata. Nosotros tampoco escogimos el género”, (Garzón de Calama, 29 años).

Finalmente, los hombres que se tratan las secuelas de la violencia de la mujer, requieren de tiempo y mucho espacio para reinsertarse socialmente, puesto que la inseguridad y falta de confianza en sí mismo resultan cruciales para superar largos períodos depresivos y reconstrucción personal. Esto se vuelve de suma importancia para recuperar buenos padres para el país.

Hoy existen hombres que intentamos tener una relación armónica y orgánica con la mujer, puesto que también hemos adquirido la autoconciencia de que portamos valores y perspectivas sanas psicológicamente. Una inmensa mayoría de ciudadanos respetamos y protegemos a la mujer, porque la amamos en su múltiples dimensiones, aprendizaje adquirido a través de buenas hijas, madres y amigas. Ojalá que todo el focus groups logre reencantarse con la vida y, quién sabe, encontrarse con una gran mujer que abra hacia la construcción mágica de nuevos caminos.

Link de interés y datos relevantes:

Video:

https://youtu.be/yXOyn0xG_gk

Aumento en tasas de violencia de mujer a hombre: 17.000 a 20.000 casos

https://www.elmostrador.cl/noticias/pais/2016/07/21/suelta-el-cuchillo-el-fenomeno-oculto-de-los-hombres-maltratados-por-mujeres/

Estadísticas:

https://www.ipsos.com/es-cl/diadelamujer2022

Padres por siempre:

https://www.padresporsiempre.cl/el-problema.html

Papás por siempre: 

https://www.papasporsiempre.cl/articulos/violencia-intrafamiliar-contra-hombres.pdf

Misandria y Misoginia

https://acmspublicaciones.revistabarataria.es/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/1.Clemente.Almag_.2015.13_21.pdf

Violencia de Género: La discusión en España

https://www.inmujeres.gob.es/servRecursos/formacion/Pymes/docs/Introduccion/02_Definicion_de_violencia_de_genero.pdf

Violencia de Género según Cepal

https://www.cepal.org/es/publications/list/work-area/gender-affairs-8187?search_fulltext=violencia%20de%20g%C3%A9nero

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